Authors note:
This is an essay
I wrote about the cause and affect people have around Laurel in the book The Beginning of
After by Jennifer Castle.
"I
quickly imagined that I could reach my hand into my chest, yank out
that awful feeling, place it on an invisible cloud of air in front of me, then
push it away. Push it away (Castle, 2011). " This is how Laurel feels after the
death of her mom, dad, and brother when she knows that she has a lot of dark
days in her future that she will need to deal with, and David Kaufman is not
making it any easier for her. When anyone in the world dies it is obvious that
the effect will be tragic, but In the book The Beginning of After
by Jennifer Castle the true effect was in what David did as he coped with a
tragedy of his own and how it effects Laurel on her journey to rediscover
herself in the real world.
When laurel went
to a prom after party with her lifelong friend and date, Joe, David caused it
to turn bad and this effected Laurel in a negative way. It started going
downhill when David came in and yelled at her, just
making her feel worse and worse until she didn't want to face anyone in the
world again, not even her own best friend. Laurel hit her last straw moment when David
came in and shouted “You’re an orphan” right to her face. The party and the
night had been going great, just for one night Laurel had forgotten about all
the bad stuff that had happened to her. Leading up to that night Laurel was
starting to find her place in the world again but after she was humiliated in
front of everyone Laurel just went back into the cycle of “What if” thoughts of
how her life turned out. “What if I would have went in the car with them”, “What
if David didn't show up at the after party” ,“What if none of this happened”, what
if this, what if that, what ifs consumed her whole world until she didn't even
want to get out of bed in the morning.
Although messing with your mind can be confusing, it is even worse when your mind and your heart are confused All throughout
the book Joe has been there for her even if she didn't see it until the end.
She starts to notice him and takes advantage of the smart guy that has been
there for her the whole time, she starts to have feelings for him, but a curve ball gets thrown into her love life when she is on a walk with David and they kiss! David
came over one night and they decided to go for a walk with his dog Masher to a
cave they used to visit in the summer together. After a long serious talk on
the way back there was just an awkward moment of silence before they kissed.
Laurel didn't know what to do because she now had equal feelings for both guys.
She didn't know what to do because she was trapped in the middle. The effect
that this had on Laurel was that her heart was pulled in many directions. Her
mind knew that David was a bad kind of boy, he was the kind of boy who came and
went as he pleased never really being there as a solid rock but after that kiss
Laurels heart was to him even though her mind knew he was bad. Her heart was
pulled in two different direction not knowing which way to go, leaving Laurel
in a world full of uncertainty and confusion.
In this essay
about the book The Beginning Of After by Jennifer Castle I list only two
of the way that David made Laurel’s life way more complex but there are many
more. If a little girl took a toy away from a little boy and the boy started
screaming, people would think the boy is disrupting the girl from playing with
the toy when really it is the other way around. This is one way to show that
sometimes the root of the problem is not what it seems. In the same way if
someone loses a family member or multiple family members everyone tries to
comfort them about their loss but really it’s the people that are still alive
that are making it hard for them to move on with their life.
Bibliography
Castle, J. (2011). The Beginning Of After. In J.
Castle, The Beginning Of After (p. 35). New York: HarperCollins
Publishers.